A collection of 50 jokes to amuse us in this special edition

50 AMUSING THOUGHTS …
Panghimagas

Marvin C. Callanta, MD

1. Q: Anong isda ang mahilig magsulat?
   A: Eh di la-FISH!
2. Q: Anong isda ang hindi basa?
   A: Eh di TUYO!
3. Q: Anong tawag mo sa palaman na isda?
   A: Eh di JELLYFISH!
4. Q: Anong hayop ang napuputol?
   A: Eh di CAT!
5. Q: Anong hayop ang sumasabog?
   A: Eh di paGONG!
6. Q: Anong hayop idol sina Francis M,Michael V, at Andrew E.?
   A: Eh di OSO!
7. Q: Anong tawag mo sa mga isdang nagsiksikan?
   A: Eh di SARDINAS!
8. Q: Anong tawag mo sa mga samahan ng mga aso?
   A: Eh di ASOciation?
9. Q: Anong hayop ang mahilig mag brief?
   A: Eh di BIRD!
10. Q: Anong sabi ng bagus nung namamatay na siya?
    A: I’m DAING (dying)
11. Q: Ano naman ang sabi ng isda nung hiwain na siya?
    A: I’m TUNA (two na)
12. Q: Anu-anong isda ang dalawang beses inuulit ang pangalan?
    A : Ano pa eh di hasa-hasa,lapu-lapu,sapsap,at iba pa.
13. . Q: Eh yung isdang tatlong bese inuulit ang pangalan?
    A: Ano pa, eh di 555!
14. Q: Anong hayop ang pinakatanga?
    A: ISda!
15. Q: Bakit?
    A: Kasi ang laki ng dagat nagsisiksikan sila sa lata!
16. Q: Anong hayop ang mahilig kumanta?
    A: Eh di PALAKAnta!
17. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
    A: Ouch!
18. How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
    A: “Pleased to eat you.”
19. How do spiders communicate?
    Through the World Wide Web.
20. Why do the French eat snails?
    They don’t like fast food.
21. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
    Because they lactose.
22. A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
    It was a shitzu
23. What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?
    Shear madness.
24. What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same?
    Itenticle.
25. Where did the cat go when it lost its tail?
    To the retail store!
26. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
    Where you left it.
27. Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
    Because it uses a honey comb!
28. Why are fish so good at watching their weight?
    Because they have lots of scales.
29. What animal has more lives than a cat?
    Frogs, they croak every night!
30. What do you get from a pampered cow?
    Spoiled milk.
31.  What is a cat’s favorite breakfast?
    Mice krispies
32.  Who makes dinosaur clothes?
    A dino-sewer.
33. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
    A try and try and try-ceratops!
34. What pine has the longest needles?
    A porcupine.
35. What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
    Use a pen.
36. Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
    Because his feet stink!
37. Why don’t bears wear shoes?
    What’s the use? They’d still have bear feet!.
38. What do fish take to stay healthy?
    Vitamin sea.
39. How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
    Plug its nose.
40. What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
    Glass flippers.
41. What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
    A woolen jumper!
42. Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
    It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
43. What is black and white and red all over?
    A skunk with a rash
44. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
    It gave a little wine.
45. What was the first animal in space?
    The cow that jumped over the moon.
46. What do you call an exploding monkey?
    A baboom.
47. What do you call a cow in a tornado
    A milkshake.
48. Which day do fish hate?
    Fryday.
49. What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
    Its shadow.
50. How does a dog stop a video?
    He presses the paws button.